


She Used to Be Mine

by TheSecondQueenOfSol



Series: 'Gold, Vine' Universe [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Worst Witch (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Or more appropriately Uma is here for the first time, Some Swearing, Uma is back!, i caused myself pain, there is pain, they just love each other so much why are they like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 19:04:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15492630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSecondQueenOfSol/pseuds/TheSecondQueenOfSol
Summary: Long before Millie was even born, Pippa Pentangle fell in love with Hecate Hardbroom. What happened, 30 years ago? What brought them together, and what drove them apart?***This is the unequivocally angsty prequel toGold, Vine and the Things We Leave Behind(Worst Witch/HP Crossover).





	She Used to Be Mine

**Author's Note:**

> All titles are from 'She Used to Be Mine' by Sara Bareilles from _Waitress_ (the Broadway musical). There will be a very fluffy sequel to _Gold, Vine_ to balance this out, I promise! On that note, enjoy! And thank you for wanting more!

**First Year | _She’s Imperfect, but She Tries_**

“Pippa. Pippa Pentangle.”

She offered her hand to the bony girl who sat alone in a rattling compartment of the Hogwarts Express. She was already in full robes, black hair brought up tight above her head, her grey tie ready to be switched out as soon as they were sorted by the Hat. Her surprised expression very clearing indicated she hadn’t anticipated anyone asking to join her.

The girl glanced at her offered hand, and back at Pippa, surveying her sceptically.

Pippa was suddenly very conscious of her silver unicorn necklace, tight blonde ponytail, pink t-shirt and favourite faded jeans.

Finally, she reached out and took her hand, and Pippa let herself shake the uncomfortable feeling of being judged so harshly without cause.

“Hecate Hardbroom.”

Pippa slipped into the compartment and closed the door behind her, lifting her luggage into place and taking the seat opposite Hecate.

“What a lovely name! Hecate… Catie, maybe?”

“Hecate,” the girl said firmly, flinching at the impromptu nickname. “Just… Hecate.”

“Okay. Hecate it is. So… are you excited?”

“For?”

“Learning… magic, I guess? Hogwarts and everything? Making new friends?”

At the last question, Hecate recoiled slightly. Pippa raised an eyebrow at the gesture but said nothing. Well, at the very least she could ditch her when they got to Hogwarts and they’d never have to speak again.

“I suppose I should be,” Hecate shrugged.

“But… you’re not?” That piqued Pippa’s interest.

Hecate shrugged. “I don’t really know.”

Pippa was thoroughly puzzled. How could you not know if you were excited?

***

“Danaria Greenmoss.”

The prim and proper blonde who had greeted Pippa in the entrance hall bounced up to the Sorting Hat, and the Hall waited with baited breath.

Not twenty seconds had passed when the Hat shouted “Gryffindor!” and the table of red and gold erupted into thunderous applause.

Professor McGonagall lifted the Hat from her brow and Dana hurried toward the Gryffindor table, grinning from ear to ear.

“Hecate Hardbroom,” Professor McGonagall called, and Hecate stepped away from Pippa and began to climb the stairs toward the Hat.

“Good luck!” Pippa whispered, but Hecate just pursed her lips and gave her a noncommittal shrug. She hadn’t even touched the stool yet and the Slytherin table was already cheering. She must be one of those legacy Slytherins, Pippa thought. Hardbroom did kind of ring a bell.

The Professor lowered the Hat onto her brow and stepped back, letting it begin its very vocal musings.

“Well, what’s this? Another Hardbroom? Yes, yes. Definitely see where this is going… but wait a moment, do I see… now that’s unusual. Oh, I haven’t seen this in a long time.”

Hecate went very pale, and Pippa watched her dig her fingernails into the palms of her hands and whisper something earnestly, eyes closed.

“Not many people ask for Slytherin, you know. But here you are… I wonder… Such a bright young mind, I don’t think it’d be right, you see, to put you where you don’t belong. No, nope, no amount of muttering will change my mind. No, this one is definitely a Ravenclaw!”

Hecate’s eyes flew open, and Pippa could see her hands shaking as her palms began to drip blood. She’d made herself bleed? She looked so frail and so terrified, and Pippa wanted to run to her and wrap her in hug, but she didn’t think Hecate would much like it very much. They were still practically strangers. One train ride didn’t change that.

Professor McGonagall lifted the Hat from her head and motioned for Hecate to step away, but she turned to face her and began a quiet plea that Pippa couldn’t capture. McGonagall shook her head with poorly camouflaged sympathy and Hecate turned, utterly defeated, to the politely cheering Ravenclaw table.

Another handful of names were called but Pippa didn’t hear any of them. She was watching Hecate, sitting very still, staring at nothing, face quivering against the tidal wave of emotions Pippa knew she must be holding back.

“Pippa Pentangle.”

Pippa’s head snapped back to Professor McGonagall, who was giving her a pointed look. She stepped forward and the crowd parted to let her through. The Hat looked very ancient and very unhappy from this close, and it was a lot heavier than she expected.

“Well, well, this one couldn’t be clearer, I think. Brains, very good, and a good heart, no doubts there. Dedication too, that’ll come in handy. But it’s that courage that shines through. A little reckless but it might serve you well. Nope, nope, definitely Gryffindor!”

Pippa breathed out as the Gryffindor table rose and cheered, shouting her over enthusiastically, clearing a spot for her to sit.

***

“Hey,” Pippa slipped into the seat beside a startled Hecate. There was more than a few familiar faces in Charms, but when Pippa had seen her, she hadn’t thought particularly hard about it and made a beeline for the Ravenclaw girl.

“Oh…” Was all Hecate managed.

“Were you saving this seat for someone or…?”

Hecate shook her head, eyes wide and uncertain.

“Great,” she smiled, dropping her bag and pulling out her books.

They made it through the whole lesson without exchanging a single word, Hecate focused intently on her books. When Professor Flitwick dismissed the class and Hecate was out of her seat and heading for the door before Pippa could say a word. She tossed her books into her bag and made a dash to follow her, pushing past and apologising to a few Ravenclaws as she tried to squeeze through. She caught up just outside, but when Hecate spotted her, she shrunk away.

“Please, leave me alone. You don’t want to be friends with me,” Hecate pleaded, backing away down the corridor.

“But I do!” Pippa insisted matching her steps.

“No, you really, really don’t.”

“I think I’ll decide that for myself thanks.”

“No, really. Stay away. I’m more trouble than I’m worth.”

“You weren’t trouble that entire class! You didn’t say a word!”

But Hecate didn’t respond. She just turned and fled down the corridor before Pippa could catch her and ask why it would be so terrible to have a friend.

***

Every week, Pippa took that same seat in Charms, and every week, Hecate didn’t say a word. They passed the year without incident, and without friendship. Without anything really. They just sat beside each other in Charms.

Pippa saw her sitting alone at meals. And alone in the Library. And alone during the break, when they both stayed back at Hogwarts, though Pippa didn’t know why Hecate didn’t go home. Pippa’s parents were travelling that year, and she was happy to spend the extra time exploring the castle. But Hecate… Pippa had a horrible feeling it was because she’d been sorted into Ravenclaw. Her parents didn’t want her home. Maybe her parents didn’t want her at all.

 

 

**Second Year | _She is Good, but She Lies_**

When Pippa stepped onto Platform 9 ¾ the next year she was very surprised to finding Hecate standing beside the steaming scarlet Express with a little boy at her elbow. He was shorter than her, and had the same dark hair and thin, unhealthy frame. A brother? Hecate had a brother?

They locked eyes. Pippa offered her a smile, but only got a cold nod in return as Hecate pulled her brother onto the train.

Another year of this then? Pippa shook her head. Why did she try? Well… she tried because she liked her. She liked how smart she was, and how if Pippa had the wrong page open she’d silently reach over and flip to the right one for her, or if she was running late, she’d keep her seat free. She liked how she pretended not to care, but couldn’t help but let slip in other little ways.

This year, she was going to become actual friends with Hecate Hardbroom, whatever it took.

***

His name was Alpheus Hardbroom, and he hadn’t stopped shaking since she’d set eyes on him. Pippa watched him lower onto the stool and take the Sorting Hat onto his head, absolute dread in his eyes. Her gaze flicked to Hecate, who sat horribly tense at the Ravenclaw table, desperate eyes staring at her brother, unblinking.

The Sorting Hat gave a long pause, and muttered something Pippa could hear before giving a shout of “Slytherin!” and sending Alpheus to the table swathed in green.

Hecate’s shoulders slumped, and at first Pippa thought it was odd, before she realised it was relief, not disappointment. She hated to wonder what kind of place they came from, that she would be relieved her brother had been sorted into a different house. Into Slytherin, of all of them.

***

This year it was Herbology they shared. When Pippa took her place beside Hecate, she didn’t even blink. She just shifted her books aside and let Pippa settle down wordlessly.

“So, you have a brother?”

No response, but she wouldn’t be deterred that easily.

“Sometimes, I wish I had a brother, but then everyone says they’re so loud and annoying and I wonder if I got lucky.”

“He isn’t loud or annoying,” Hecate corrected quietly, and Pippa almost dropped her pen. She’d responded! She’d actually said words directed at Pippa!

“Oh, I didn’t mean…”

“No, you didn’t. But it’s okay.”

“So you… actually like your brother?”

But it was no use. The conversation was already over. Hecate didn’t acknowledge another word from her, and they went about the rest of the class in silence.

More than once Pippa caught Dana Greenmoss glaring at her, and she couldn’t for the life of her figure out why until she found her hurry up to her after class once Hecate had vanished again.

“You know, you really should sit with me and Eliza in Herbology.”

Pippa didn’t like Dana. Not one bit. She’d been a bully in first year, and she’d probably be a bully this year too. So much for being in Gryffindor, House of the Brave. It didn’t count for anything if you were selfish and cruel.

“And why is that?” Pippa asked, not slowing her steps.

“Because she’s a Hardbroom. They’re, like, Death Eaters. Have been since forever.”

“Thanks, but I think I’m good with Hecate.”

“Whatever. You’re loss,” Dana sneered, stalking away and re-joining Elizamina Brightweed.

Actually, Pippa was pretty sure she hadn’t lost a thing. 

 

 

**Third Year | _She is Hard on Herself_**

Pippa really, really didn’t need a detention. A detention in the first week would be a new low and one Pippa wasn’t keen to reach. She’d lost track of the time in the library, and when she realised, it was already cutting way too close to curfew. Professor Snape was probably out prowling already, keen to catch disobedient students and strip points from Gryffindor. What a creep.

She was almost there, almost to the Fat Lady’s Portrait, almost going to avoid detention when a hand shot out of the dark and wrapped around her mouth, pulling her sideways into the shadow. She tried to scream and push against her attacker, swinging her book bag and hearing a grunt of pain.

“Shhh. Stop, it’s me!” _Hecate… Hecate Hardbroom!_

Pippa froze, and let Hecate pull her into an empty closet just off the corridor.

Hecate was pulling her into a closet, hand over her mouth.

Hecate was pulling her into a closet.

Hecate, one of the prettiest girls Pippa had ever met, was pulling her into a closet and telling her to be quiet. Pippa really needed to pull herself together before Hecate spontaneously developed the ability to read minds and got a glimpse of how inappropriate things had rapidly become in Pippa’s.

“Hecate, what in the! You’ve barely said ten words to me in a two years and now you’re kidnapping…”

“I’m sorry, I really am, but I need your help and no one else would even consider...”

Pippa felt around in the dark, searching for somewhere to focus. Her hand hit something soft and she steadied herself.

“That’s my… umm… Pippa, that’s my chest.”

Pippa recoiled, blushing profusely, and pray to god Hecate didn’t murder her right then and there. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean…”

“ _Lumos_.”

Hecate’s wand ignited, throwing eerie blue light into the empty closet. They were barely a foot apart, Pippa’s offending hand clutched tightly to her chest.

“I’m so sorry…”

“It’s okay,” Hecate waved her away, but Pippa couldn’t shake the intense butterflies that had hatched in her gut. “I need your help.”

“My help? Okay, well, if I can, obviously I will.”

Something chirped in the darkness. Pippa’s wand was out in one swift flick, and she was brandishing it at nothing in particular.

“Please put that away. You’ll scare her.”

“Scare who?”

Another chirp, and Pippa glanced down to where Hecate was lifting her robe open.

Okay, maybe this was taking a turn for the…

A small black reptilian head popped out, chirping happily and giving Pippa an enthusiastic squawk.

“Oh, my god…” Pippa’s heart stopped. “Is that… a dragon?”

“Kind of?” Hecate said sheepishly.

“Kind of? What do you mean kind of it’s either a dragon or it’s not!”

“It is, okay. Yes, it’s a dragon.”

“You have a _dragon_?”

“Yeah, I guess?”

“What’s next, you have a goddamn Thestral for a familiar?”

Hecate went stiff, and Pippa wasn’t sure exactly what she’d said wrong. “My familiar is a cat.”

“Okay, so not the goddamn dragon that’s looking at me from inside your robes? Hecate, people don’t just have dragons!”

“I am well aware, Pippa. But this wasn’t exactly a choice.”

“Where did you even get her?”

“I… I rescued her.”

“From where?”

“That’s not important. But I have to take care of her. And I… I can’t do it alone.”

“Alpheus can’t help you?”

“Alph can’t know,” Hecate shook her head, dead serious. “You have to promise not to tell him, okay?”

***

“Will she be safe here?”

“Honestly, I don’t know,” Pippa shrugged, letting Uma nibble at the slab of meat in her hand. “But it’s the best we’ve got, right?”

“I suppose…” Hecate eyed the dusty boxes stacked around the tower storeroom sceptically.

“No one else comes in here, promise,” Pippa tried to reassure her.

“How do you know?”

“It’s kind of… it’s kind of my quiet place. You know, where you come when everything is a bit much?”

“I didn’t want you to give up…”

“No, no,” Pippa straightened. “Not giving up. Repurposing. Uma can sleep here, until she gets too big. We can find her bigger place in the meantime.”

“Thanks… Pippa.”

“So… does this mean you’ll talk to me in Herbology now?”

Hecate snorted, but Pippa could tell it was mostly amusement.

“Maybe…”

 

 

 **Fourth Year |** **_She is Broken and Won't Ask for Help_ **

It was barely two weeks into the year when Alpheus ran up to Pippa and Hecate at breakfast, his face filled with panic and fear.

“Hecate! Hecate, they’re coming. Father and Mother are coming, here, to Hogwarts.”

He pushed a letter into his sister’s hand. Hecate dropped her spoon and shot up, though she had no destination. Pippa had a feeling it was simply ‘away from this place’.

When Pippa opened her mouth to ask why, she was cut off roughly as Hecate pulled her up and began shoving her away from them.

“Pippa, get away from us.”

“What? Hecate, no. I’m sure it’s not…”

“You don’t understand. Just listen, for once, and go.”

“Hecate, I’m not a coward…”

“Pippa,” it was Alpheus, and his voice was quivering. “Please get away from us. Just while they’re here. Just until they’re gone. I don’t want them to see you, or to know who you are.”

Pippa was confused. She knew the Hardbroom parents were horrid, and cruel even. It was obvious. But this… to want to hide her very existence, her very identity…

“Okay,” she nodded to Alph. “How long will they be here?”

“We’ll come and find you when they’re gone.”

***

Despite what they had said, Pippa fully planned on hanging around long enough to catch a glimpse of their parents. She was discrete and stayed far enough back that she wasn’t any more interesting than the other students wandering the castle. From where she sat on the stairs, tucked behind a book, she learned several things.

One; Asteria Hardbroom was one of the most beautiful women Pippa had ever seen. She was tall and lean and had hair like the finest thread of darkest black, and wore her robes like the night sky draped across her back.

Two; her husband, Thanatos Hardbroom, was the exact opposite. He was tall, to be sure, and he had the same sharp features and dark hair as Hecate, but his eyes were cold and dead, and when he smiled, there was no kindness or humour in it. He might have been handsome, if he didn’t look so ready to cast the first stone.

Three; they had been asked here, by none other than Professor Dumbledore. He let them greet their children, and Pippa watched Thanatos sneer at his daughter and dote on his son, and it couldn’t have been more obvious that it had everything to do with the colours on their robes. Asteria said little, and did even less, eyes flicking over her children before she and her husband were lead away by the Professor.

Pippa watched them go, but didn’t move, for fear she’d reveal herself to Hecate. When she turned her eyes back to the Hardbroom children, she found Alpheus tugging on Hecate’s sleeve and whispering comforting words as she tried to stave off the tears that threatened to spill forth.

Damn the promises.

Pippa ditched her book and ran to them, checking over her shoulder to see that Thanatos and Asteria had disappeared, before throwing her arms around a shocked and then furious Hecate.

“What did we say?!” She growled, though she made no move to push her away.

“They didn’t see me. I made sure.”

“That’s not the point.”

“You’re upset, and you’re my friend. I’m not going anywhere.”

She felt something warm against her side, and realised Alph had leaned in too, and was wrapping Hecate in a hug as well.

“You have to be gone before they come back,” Hecate whispered, and Pippa could hear her tears.

“Why don’t we all go? I know a place they won’t bother looking.”

“Where?” It was Alph, and he sounded ready to go anywhere his parents weren’t.

***

The wind was always strong at the top of the Astronomy Tower, but Pippa just summoned three thick blankets and they stood at the railing, pointing to the people that scurried about below, making up stories for who they were and how their days were going.

“There! Look!” Pippa’s hand shot out and traced the path of the two black clad figures. “Isn’t that them?”

Thanatos and Asteria made their way swiftly down the path to a waiting carriage, climbing in and letting it sweep them away. Beside her, Pippa felt Hecate’s whole body shift. Tension fell from her shoulders, and she let go her iron grip on the railing.

“I wonder what they were here for?” Pippa mused.

“I don’t really care,” Alpheus murmured quietly, eyes still locked onto the retreating carriage. “They’re gone now.”

He leant gently into Hecate, and she shifted to take his weight, pulling her blanket over him as well.

***

“I don’t think _hic!_ that you should _hic!_ really be doing _hic!_ that…” Hecate tried sceptically, but Pippa couldn’t stop grinning at her hiccups.

“Face it,” Pippa laughed. “You need my help. That’s the fourth cure you’ve brewed this week and they’re not gone!”

Hecate glared at her, but periodic hiccups made it so adorable, Pippa could hardly keep a straight face, let alone take her seriously.

“It’s a simple matter and if we just work together…”

Hecate rolled her eyes and slumped down beside her. “Fine _hic!_ ”

“It’s okay to need a little help sometimes, Hiccup.”

“What did you just call me?”

“You’ve had them for a week straight, I’m pretty sure that qualifies for a nickname.”

“Don’t you _hic!_ dare,” Hecate breathed.

“That’s okay, Hiccup, you’ll come to love it, I’m sure.”

“I _hic!_ doubt it.”

 

 

**Fifth Year | _She is Messy, but She's Kind_**

_Pink._

“I’m sorry, what?” Pippa looked to where Hecate sat, book open in her lap, Uma curled around her side.

“I didn’t say anything?”

_Pink._

Hecate blinked, and Pippa looked around for the source of the words.

_Pink. Pink. Pink._

Pippa’s head snapped back to Hecate, eyes wide. It wasn’t spoken. It was in her mind. Both sets of eyes drifted to where Uma sat looking at them.

_Pink._

The dragon sat staring at Pippa’s bright scarf, unblinking.

_Pink. Pink one._

“Did she just…?”

“I thought…”

 _Pink_. Uma’s eyes turned to Hecate. _Black one. Pink one. Black one._

“Oh my god,” Pippa half gasped, half laughed. “She can… she can speak.”

_Pink. Black. Pink one. Black one._

Uma lifted her head, and let out a soft rumble.

_Pink one, pink one. Hear me?_

“Yes,” Pippa nodded. “Yes, I can hear you.”

Uma let out an excited natter, and then grew thoughtful, looking between them.

_Food?_

***

“The point of the Forbidden Forest is that it’s _forbidden_ , Hecate!”

“I know, I know, but she’s too big for the castle. She deserves air, and bigger spaces, and a place to hunt. Besides, I have an idea.”

“This is insane,” Pippa grabbed her arm, trying to stop her swift decent of the stairs.

“I really don’t think we have a choice. It’s this, or send her away somewhere we can’t protect her. At least in the forest, she’s nearby. Or are you just worried you’ll get a detention?”

“No, of course not,” Pippa pulled away, frustration growing. “But the forest is dangerous. What if something tries to hurt her, or hunt her, and we’re not there to fight it off?”

“I know who she can stay with. I have a plan, Pippa. I promise.”

Pippa sighed, defeated.

“We can visit her. We’ll just have to be careful, but it’s better than sending her away to the mountains or something.”

“Okay, okay. I just… just show me what you had in mind.”

***

To Pippa, it didn’t seem all that different from every other clearing they’d passed on the way. It was dim, and unnerving sounds echoed through the trees, but it was empty, and she didn’t understand Hecate’s quiet smile.

“So?” Pippa gestured. “So she just lives alone? Alone in a terrifying forest?”

“You can’t see them, can you?” Hecate asked quietly, looking at her curiously, almost relieved.

“See what?”

Hecate took her hand, and Pippa suddenly felt very warm, and her heart decided now would be a great time to shift into overdrive. Hecate lead her down the path, and seemed to step them around certain places, but Pippa couldn’t tell the difference between one patch of air and another.

“Trust me, okay?” Hecate implored gently, and Pippa could only nod as her best friend, her first love, lifted her hand into the air and shifted it forward.

Something leathery brushed against Pippa’s hand and her fingers flinched.

“What was that?” she breathed.

Hecate just lay her hand on the leathery hide beneath their fingers, and grinned. “It’s a Thestral.”

“Goddess…” Pippa spread her palm out onto the creature. A creature she still couldn’t see, and had no idea what part she was touching. Only people who had seen someone die could see a Thestral… oh... Pippa bit her lip nervously, and tried to read Hecate’s face, but she was stoic as ever and kept it blank.

“So you… you want to let Uma live here?”

“I think so. I mean, the Thestrals are gentle, and they survive just fine.”

“Yeah,” Pippa nodded. “Okay. I can get behind this.”

Hecate looked to her properly and let her lips tug into a small, private smile. Pippa’s heart lurched, and it took a lot of self-control to stop from reaching over and brushing the strands of loose hair from Hecate’s face.

***

“Operation: Christmas is a go,” Alph nodded to the windows of the shop. “Target Hiccup is distracted.”

Pippa laughed. “You made her codename Hiccup? I’m the only one who gets to call her that!”

Alph just shushed her, peering around the corner. “Asset Pipsqueak is being difficult.”

“What did you just call me?” Pippa blinked.

“Pipsqueak.”

“Pip…squeak?”

“Yeah, it was the only thing that kinda sounded like Pippa.”

“Okay, that’s fair, I’ll take it. Pipsqueak. I could get used to it.”

“I’ll tell Hecate.”

“Don’t you even dare.”

Alph was already ducking around the corner, slipping through to Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop and, hopefully, getting Hecate’s present. Pippa slipped in behind him, and through the glass panes of the shop she saw Hecate speaking with Professor McGonagall, who seemed to be making sure Hecate’s back stayed to them.

“Come on, Alph!”

“Actually, my codename is Alpine.”

“How come you get a cool codename!”

“Because I invented the code.”

Pippa couldn’t help but let her heart warm at the sight of Hecate, stiff and dark as ever, making conversation with the Professor. Pippa knew she liked McGonagall, and had a deep respect for the way she handled her students, and she also had a feeling Hiccup might have a little crush. Pippa didn’t blame her. She had a pretty serious crush on McGonagall too.

“Got it, let’s go!”

“Definitely the one with the black, right?”

“It’s for Hecate, I wasn’t exactly browsing the pink quills.”

“Okay, okay, point made.”

They slipped back out of the shop and took the long way around, emerging from the Three Broomsticks as innocently as possible, Pippa giving McGonagall a slight ‘got it’ wink before Hecate turned to greet them.

 

 

**Sixth Year | _She is Lonely Most of the Time_**

Alph dropped his books onto the desk, and slumped down beside Pippa. She lowered her pen and tapped his nose affectionately, and his frown drew back into a smile.

“What’s up?” she asked.

“Just some stupid careers thing.”

“They’re still making you do that?”

“Yeah.”

“What’d you get?”

“I don’t mind what I got. Actually, I really liked it. But… Father would never allow it.”

“Can I know what it was?”

“A teacher,” Alph grinned, sitting up. “And, I’d like to try it. I think teaching could be really fun. You know, take everything they teach us now, but take out all of the dumb old fashioned stuff and give kids a new way of see their world, and their magic. I don’t know, maybe it’s stupid.”

“It doesn’t sound stupid to me.”

“What’d you get?”

“Yeah, the test didn’t work so well for me. It basically said government work and Ministry stuff. But, I never cared about anything like that, so I guess I’ll just figure it out myself.”

“What’d Hecate get?”

As if summoned, his sister appeared over his shoulder, dropping her own books down, taking the seat beside Pippa.

“Professional Quidditch Player,” she said nonchalantly, as if that wasn’t the coolest damn profession out there.

“Are you kidding?” Alph grinned. “That’s awesome!”

Hecate just shrugged, but Pippa saw her bite back a grin.

“You could do it too! You’re good enough! No one’s beat you in two years!”

“That’s just school Quidditch… But maybe,” Hecate said, pulling out parchment and flipping the pages of her textbook. “It’s not exactly a respectable profession.”

“That doesn’t matter, not really. Not if you’re good enough.”

***

The day was grey, but Pippa was holding out hope that it wouldn’t rain on their practice. They’d finally found a spare afternoon to stretch their legs before the next Ravenclaw v Gryffindor game, and if it rained, Pippa would miss the chance to see Hecate on her new _Nimbus 1700_. And also, she’d miss an afternoon with Hecate. She really needed to pull herself together, before best friend figured her out, and never wanted to speak to her again.

Hecate pulled the flap to the changing tent open for her, and they began to switch their school robes for their Quidditch uniforms in silence. Pippa didn’t mean to look. She’d never, ever betray their friendship like that, but when she turned to ask Hecate to help her with the leather ties on her Chaser’s gear, her stomach plummeted.

With sickening realisation, Pippa spotted the thin red cuts across Hecate’s back, like a ragged netting that she couldn’t tear her eyes from. They were at her shoulder, and too far up to be the work of their barer. They were already closed, and preparing to scar.

“Who did that to you?” Pippa asked softly, voice more steady than she felt.

Hecate spun around, realising what she’d seen and pulled her robes up hurriedly. She offered no explanation, and Pippa hated to speculate. Not about this.

“I’m sorry… you don’t have to tell me. I just… can I heal them?”

Hecate shook her head. “I already tried. Just makes them worse.”

“Can I…?”

“Don’t, Pip,” Hecate met her eyes, something fierce behind the pain. “Just… don’t. I’m fine. It’s fine.”

Pippa closed her mouth, and they changed in silence. Pippa didn’t know if she could just let it slide, if she could just ignore it. It wasn’t right.

When Hecate pulled the flap back again, Pippa just stepped into her and pulled her close. She squeezed as tight as could be called reasonable, careful to avoid where she knew the scars were forming.

“You don’t have to say anything. We don’t ever have to talk about it. Just know that you’re my best friend, and I would do anything for you.”

_Anything at all. Anything you asked._

Pippa released her and slipped out of the tent without meeting her eyes, hoping it wasn’t too much. When she reached the Quidditch Pitch and Hecate was still walking along beside her, she took that as a very good sign.

***

Pippa was in love with her. It was too obvious, too overwhelming, to ignore, and it was cowardly to push the feelings away.

Not for the first time, she was glad Hecate couldn’t read minds. She dreamed of her most nights, and sometimes during the day. It was almost embarrassing, how much she loved her. At least she was the only one who would ever know. Unless… unless she wasn’t a coward.

She opened her eyes on her birthday, and found a little square of parchment waiting on her bedside table.

> _Forbidden Forest, before breakfast. - H_

Pippa’s heart began to pound. This was unexpected. She leapt out of bed, and pulled on the nearest pieces of clothing she could find, a pair of faded jeans and a pink jacket, and dashed out of the dormitory.

Sure enough, Hecate was waiting by the path they usually took to see Uma, fidgeting with something in her hand.

She saw Pippa coming, and ducked between the trees, disappearing from sight.

_Okay… that was weird…_

Pippa followed the path, occasionally catching sight of Hecate up ahead, watching to see if she was coming.

She was tempted to call out to her, but the forest was dark and rather specifically, _forbidden_.

She lost sight of Hecate a few hundred metres in, and found instead something silver flittering through the trees. Pippa quickened her pace and saw a little silver dragon, a Patronus, waiting on the branch ahead. It saw her, and took flight, and Pippa followed, ducking through the trees to keep up until it burst into a clearing and dissipated.

Pippa opened her mouth to call for Hecate, but the words died in her lips. There, brilliant and beautiful in the centre of the glade, clean against the dim surroundings, stood a unicorn. An actual living, breathing unicorn foal, horn and all, glowing luminescent in the clearing.

Pippa stepped toward it, careful not to make any sudden movements, and it clopped toward her gently, and nuzzled against her hand without hesitation.

“Oh… my… god,” Pippa breathed, running her hand along the fine hairs of the Unicorn’s back, feeling the magic prickle beneath her fingers.

Hecate stepped out from the trees, still fiddling with her jacket.

“Happy Birthday,” she smiled nervously. “I hope she’s okay?”

“Okay? Hiccup, that… it’s a… it’s a literal goddamn unicorn!”

“So, that’s okay, right?”

_She wasn’t a coward. She wasn’t going to be a coward._

Pippa stepped forward and kissed the question from Hecate’s lips, pulling her close, holding her tight but staying gentle, ready to let her go if she pushed.

She kissed her for six years of quiet pining, and kissed her for the dreams she had last night, and the gift she’d given last week, and every time her heart had leapt at the sight of her, or the smell of her, or the sound of her.

Pippa leant back, giving Hecate a chance to disengage, a chance to pull away. But she didn’t. She leant with her, following her lips and refusing to break. It was all the confirmation Pippa needed.

 

 

**Seventh Year | _She is Gone, but She Used to be Mine_**

It was a howler, Pippa realised, and her address was written in Hecate’s fine spindly handwriting. She braced herself, confusion rising in her chest. Why would Hecate write her a howler? What had she done? Had she forgotten something important? Was she finally tired of Pippa’s frivolity?

She unsealed the letter with shaking fingers, but when it burst open and began to speak, it wasn’t screaming or shouting, it was crying and pleading.

“Please, don’t speak to me again. No more letters. No more mirror calls. It’s not safe. I’ll tell you everything when we get to school. But stay away. Stay far, far away for now.”

Tears sprung to Pippa’s eyes at the pain in Hecate’s voice, and the sobs that wracked her as she’d spoken the message.

“Don’t respond. Please, Pippa this isn’t like the other times. You must listen. Please, please listen.”

The howler went still and folded itself back up, floating to the sheets, lying dead on the bed in front of her.

***

When Pippa arrived at platform 9 ¾, there was no sign of Hecate or Alph. Maybe they were avoiding her? Maybe they were already on the train?

But soon it was three weeks into the year, and Hecate hadn’t said a word to her. She’d run from her every time they were in the same place, and she hadn’t even seen Alpheus at all.

The rumour was he’d transferred to the Durmstrang Institute, but it seemed doubtful, given he’d not written Pippa to tell her, and she thought she at least warranted that. When Pippa tried to send him an owl, it came back two weeks later, weak and confused, the letter still tied to its leg. Dread settled into Pippa’s stomach, and she resolved to demand an answer from Hecate the next time she saw her.

That was, until the next morning, when she was flipping through the Daily Prophet, and she finally got her answer. Witch’s Fever, the obituary said. Asteria and Alpheus Hardbroom, taken very suddenly. Less than a week they were ill, before they were lowered six feet under, surrounded by friends and family. Loved, and dearly missed.

Pippa let the paper fall back to the table and excused herself without meeting her friends’ questioning gaze. Dana and Eliza didn’t ask, just let her go, and Pippa was thankful for that.

She walked, taking corners and corridors a random, unsure of where she was going until she was climbing the stairs to the Astronomy Tower. She could still hear his laugh. She could remember how soft and sure his hugs had become. How he’d smiled freely, so different from the pale little boy who had stood on that platform the first time.

She summoned a thick blanket and wrapped herself up, finding a sheltered corner where she could look out at the towers of Hogwarts Castle, and she cried.

There weren’t many people Pippa cared about. Maybe three, or five, if she counted her parents. But she didn’t really know them, and she hardly saw them anymore. But there were three, at least. And Alpheus had been one. And she’d lost him, and hadn’t even known. Because no one bothered to tell a random girl from school. Even Hecate hadn’t bothered. Even Hecate, who said she loved her, hadn’t bothered.

She cared about three people, and two of them were dead to her. Hecate wouldn’t say a word. She’d lost her brother. Was she trying to spare Pippa? Was she trying to keep her safe from the truth? Surely she knew she’d find out eventually?  Surely she deserved to know?

Pippa cried until her head ached and her nose ran dry and her stomach growled, hungry and miserable. She didn’t know how many hours had passed, and she didn’t really care.

She had to speak with Hecate. She had to know why she’d said nothing.

***

“It wasn’t Witch’s Fever.”

Pippa felt sick at the way Hecate declared it with such finality, and such solemnity.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, it wasn’t Witch’s Fever.”

“Then what happened?” Pippa’s breath hitched, barely holding back her tears.

“I can’t say,” Hecate looked away, and tried to stand.

“Why not?”

“I… I made an Unbreakable Vow,” Hecate said quietly, not meeting Pippa’s gaze.

“With who?” she gasped, horrified.

Hecate shook her head. “I… I can’t… I already said too much…”

Pippa grabbed her hand to hold her in place, and her eyes caught the stack of books buried beneath Hecate’s papers.

_Black Coven, Sister’s Blood: Raising Those We Cannot Lose_

_The Lost Art of Necromancy_

_Vivi Mortuis: Temporary Death_

_The Tales of Beedle the Bard_

_Practical Black Magic: Dark Arts and Necromancy_

“Hiccup,” she shivered, panic rising, but Hecate refused to meet her gaze. “You can’t. It’s illegal, and it’s… it’s not right.”

Hecate yanked her hand away, still not looking at her.

“They showed me how. I know all the steps, and all the magic. I just have to make it work.”

Pippa pulled her back into her seat and kneeled beside her, holding her hand close, watching the corners of her mouth twitch.

“I know you want to. I know.”

“You don’t understand. You can’t. It was all my fault. If I’d just listened. If I’d just obeyed.”

“Did you do it?”

“What?”

“Did you cast the curse or brew the potion or whatever it was that…”

“No! No of course not!”

“Then it’s not your fault.”

Hecate leapt up and shoved Pippa down, knocking her back to the stone floor and glaring at her, but the terror Pippa might have felt was dulled when she saw tear tracks down her cheeks.

“You have no idea what happened! You have no idea. Don’t you dare deny what I already know is true. Alpheus and Mother are dead because of me. You should hate me. Get away from me!”

Pippa didn’t move. She just took in a deep breath and watched her. Watched her best friend, panicked and lonely, spit venom down at her. “No.”

“Then you’re stupid,” Hecate spat, her voice rising. “You’re stupid, Pippa. You should never have spoken to me. You should hate me. _Hate me!_ ”

She shoved her chair over and ran from the room, out of sight. Out of Pippa’s life.

 

 

**2 nd May, 1998 | _And It’s Not What I Ask For_**

Her years at Hogwarts remained a memory checked with turmoil in Pippa’s mind. She had been so happy, for so many years, until she wasn’t, and most days, it was hard to remember the good without immediately being reminded of the terrible. She hadn’t been back, not since graduating, and she honestly never thought she would return.

But when the call came, when Professor McGonagall sent out the appeal for aid, there was no question in Pippa’s mind. She was on her broom and flying north before she’d had time to really consider what she was doing. A fight, McGonagall had said. A battle. A final stand against the dark forces of the magical world.

They win, or they die.

Briefly, Pippa wondered if Hecate would be there, but she swiftly crushed the thought, like she did every thought of her.

***

She caught site of Thanatos, hoodless and turning down an empty corridor, and she pushed forward, chasing him down. She was going to kill him. She didn’t care that it was illegal. Something deep inside told her that he was the root of her pain. She was going to kill him and no one could stop her.

He saw her, and his face twisted as he stopped and turned back to face her.

“You.”

“Me,” Pippa threw out a curse, and Thanatos tossed it aside with a flick of his wand.

“Pippa Pentangle. So good to finally meet my daughter’s only friend,” Thanatos sneered, and Pippa’s blood ran cold. So he did know who she was. How long had he known? Why did he even care?

Thanatos charged forward, a bolt of green light flying at Pippa. She ducked out of the way, scrambling back, steadying as he grinned and leered at her.

“What a pity. Such a lovely face…” He gripped his wand. “ _Avada Kedavra_.”

Pippa threw up a shield and the cursed slammed against it, sending her stumbling back and falling to her knees. No chance to retaliate. Over too quickly. At the hands of Thanatos Hardbroom, of all people.

She steadied her breath. She wouldn’t go screaming. She refused.

A blur of movement and someone was blocking her way. Someone in long black robes, with dark hair and a wand raised.

“Don’t you fucking touch her.”

Hecate.

She was alive. She was here. She was defending her.

Thanatos snickered. The sound made Pippa want to wretch.

“Her? Really? This is who you come back for? Pathetic.”

He threw out another curse and Hecate tossed it harmlessly aside.

“Is she what kept you from your destiny? Is this why you refused? Should I have killed her instead?”

_Instead? Instead…_

Oh god.

Pippa’s blood turned to ice.

 _It wasn’t Witch’s Fever…_ she’d said… _I made an Unbreakable Vow…_

It was him.

He’d murdered Alpheus. He’d murdered Asteria.

Still, Hecate had stood against him. Alone, without anyone by her side.

Pippa staggered up. Not alone anymore.

She threw out a curse and turned the stone beneath Thanatos’ feet to quicksand, dragging him down and devouring the wand that fell from his grip. He shriek, stuck.

Hecate raised her wand, and his eyes steadied on her. A grin spread across his face as he watched her concentrate.

“Do it. It’s a Thestral Wand, Hecate. You can do it.”

Pippa didn’t wait. She struck him with a binding curse and turned the quicksand back to stone, locking him in place, wiping the smile from his lips.

Above them the stone began to rumble and she could hear shouting from down the corridor. This fight was won. The battle wasn’t.

She turned to Hecate, and found nothing. Gone. Again.

***

In the Hall, where the dead and dying lay, Pippa found Dana’s cold stare watching the clouds flicker above, her shattered wand lying across her chest, a ragged gash still bleeding out across her heart.

“Did you know her?”

Pippa looked up, and found a stranger hovering nearby, concerned.

“Yes. We were in the same year. Same dormitory.”

“I’m so sorry. We’re trying to identify…”

“Dana. Danaria Greenmoss. I’ll take care of her, if that’s okay?”

The woman nodded and slipped away, leaving Pippa to kneel down and close Dana’s eyes gently. She cast a stitching spell, pulling Dana’s chest back together, mending her robes and cleaning her face before she summoned a white sheet and pulled it over her body. She took the broken halves of Dana’s wand and lay them on her chest above the sheet, and whispered a soft, apologetic goodbye.

There was a list coming around, a list for people who could identify the dead, and Pippa added Dana’s name, and let the tears fall without bothering to brush them aside.

They hadn’t been especially good friends, but Dana had taken her in without questions when Hecate had abandoned her. You couldn’t spend seven years living beside someone and not have some affinity. She didn’t deserve this. None of them did.

Pippa took in a deep breath and cast her eyes around the room, searching. There, across the room. She was bent over a cauldron, brewing something. Of course she was brewing something. She had always been the very brightest witch. Of course her first instinct would have been to help.

Pippa watched her straighten and begin bottling the tiny vials of green liquid, distributing them to waiting hands that carried them to the mouths of those whimpering on blood soaked stretchers.

Hecate stepped back against the wall, her face very pale, her hands gaunt and shaking. Pippa wanted to go to her. She needed her best friend.

She stepped forward, making her way toward Hecate, weaving through the crowded room. But when Hecate looked up and their eyes met, she shifted off the wall and began to retreat. She kept her face blank, and Pippa stopped, trying so hard to make her understand.

_Don’t run. Please don’t run._

Without a word, Hecate twisted her fingers and dissolved out of Pippa’s life. Again.

Was that it? Were they done? She just… she just didn’t want to be her friend?

She didn’t want her at all?

**Author's Note:**

> The full verse of the titles is;  
> She's imperfect, but she tries,  
> She is good, but she lies,  
> She is hard on herself,  
> She is broken and won't ask for help,  
> She is messy, but she's kind,  
> She is lonely most of the time, ...  
> She is gone, but she used to be mine.


End file.
